June 20th, 1997 - The Second Date/"The Slip and Miss"

Growing up in the small town of Springville, Utah and being surrounded by several other small towns lent itself to many stereotypes. One was that Springville was preppy and that Spanish Fork (the next town south) was cowboy. Spanish Fork was our biggest rival in everything to do with high school and dating. No one from Springville would be caught dead dating someone from Spanish Fork or having fun over there (unless of course you were a member of the FFA club or perhaps secretly listened to country music while hiding in the depths of your closet). And then I met Chris.

Chris taught at Spanish Fork High School and lived in a nice townhouse by the Spanish Fork Middle School. These were all forgivable follies, after all, he wasn't a native Spanish Forkian. I was sure that he was just grateful to have a job - it wasn't his fault that this school had hired him. And living within a couple of miles of work is much better than a long commute. I had already had an enchanted encounter in meeting him and an impressive first date. I was falling fast and girlishly giddy about having a second date with him. At least that was until he called me up to confirm our second date and suggested that we go country dancing.

Country dancing?! My mind became a whirl and I felt almost like a debutant with her corset strings pulled too tightly as the oxygen quickly drained from my head and it became too hard to breathe. This nice young man from Spokane really had been living in Spanish Fork too long! "Oh no!" I screamed to myself. I had hoped that this would be a budding romance but I felt as though it was quickly coming to a screeching halt.

For a while my pride seemed to be an impenetrable wall. I would not go country dancing! How could I even like any one that wanted to go country dancing? What would my friends think? Would good old Springville let me come back home? Was I being a traitor to my own home town?

Any strength that my wall of pride seemed to lack was fortified by my wall of fear. Dancing is something I have never had a lot of grace in. I broke out in cold sweats just forcing myself to go to high school dances. Dancing lays it all on the line for me. Badly attempting to make my body move the way my mind wants to, being surrounded by crowds of people, and being seen and looked at by said crowd of people always throws me into fits of nauseous anxiety.

It seemed like all these thoughts were going on in my head for an eternity. Suddenly I had an out-of-body experience when I heard the words, "Yes, I'd love to!" confidently and flirtatiously run out from my very own mouth. I guess love does conquer fear!!!

I paced and paced the floor by the front door of my house as the time marched steadily towards the designated time of our date. I gave myself several pep talks, glued a smile to my face and psyched myself into having a great time - even if I made a complete fool of myself.

The doorbell rings. As I open the door my worries start to flutter away as I lay my eyes upon Chris. He looks even more handsome than I remember. He is wearing a cowboy shirt, wrangler jeans, and yes - real cowboy boots. I never knew cowboys could look so hunky before. And wranglers really do a gentleman's derriere justice!!!

As we drive I try to take my mind off the fact that in the very immediate future I will be dancing. But before I know it we are at the dance club, he is opening my car door for me, and we walk through the building doors and hear the loud twanging of country music, the clapping of hands, and the stomping of boots.

Chris is very patient with me. We watch a few dances as he explains what some of the basic moves are and what we will be doing. Then it is time to plunge in. Chris is a good lead, and again very patient as I cluelessly and clumsily try to move to the music. I feel dumb and embarrassed but keep that smile glued on. I hold on tight to Chris and make every effort possible not to step on his feet again. I make progress. The more I concentrate on just Chris and I, the less I notice other people and the more I start to enjoy myself.

After several dances we stop for a break. We talk, we get drinks, we watch more people dancing. Finally it is a slow song. Chris leads me back onto the dance floor and this time my smile is more natural. I know how to slow dance. He takes my right hand with his left and carefully wraps his right arm around my waist. I hold him close and notice he is warm and smells really good! I then close my eyes and let him do all the work. I am in Heaven.

The rest of the evening is spent practicing more steps, attempting a few line dances and hungrily looking forward to every slow dance. I have crossed the line. I am now a converted born again country dancer.

The dance hall may close, but it is not the end of our date. Chris takes me back to his place and makes us Zuka Juice and shows me pictures from his families vacation to Hawaii. I am wanting the night to never end, but it has to.

Chris drives me back to my house. We stay and talk in the car for a while and then he walks me to the door. We finish our conversation and then Chris has one request. "May I give you a good night kiss?"

My cheeks flush, I feel hot all over, and my heart starts pounding really, really fast. Of course I want to kiss him!!!!!! I shyly reply, "yes." But as Chris starts to lean in toward me my mind panics. What kind of kiss was he wanting? Is a good night kiss just one on the cheek or is it one on the lips? Just as his lips are about to meet mine my head jerks the other way and his lips land smack on my cheek. We are both surprised!!!!!

Chris backs away looking a little disappointed. The words, "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!" echo over and over again through my head. Chris then says that if I would like to go out with him again why don't I plan the date and give him a call. "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!" is still ringing in my head. I agree and wave goodbye to him as he gets into his car. I go inside the house, walk up the stairs to my bedroom, lay on my bed and start to cry. "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!" I survived the dancing but I blew it on the kiss.

Kid-isms

Chad was recently invited to a birthday party at Triple Play. Chad is the kind of kid that needs to know what is going on and has a hard time when things don't happen as he expects them to. Knowing this, I explained to him what Triple Play was and what kind of fun things there would be to do. I also explained that they would be in the car for a long time - that it was near Coeur d'Alene (which he has been to before).

During the drive someone mentioned that they were now in Idaho. This was apparently a big surprise for Chad. I was told by the mom when he was dropped off back home that his response was, "Serious? Oh no!" He wasn't quite sure what to make of being in Idaho.

A few minutes after Chad had arrived back home and I had got the other kids to settle down I asked Chad how the party went. He said it was really fun. Then he gave me one of his Chad looks and started to explain that they had to drive and drive and drive and that they finally had driven all the way to Mexico.

"Mexico?" I asked.

"Yes mom, it was all the way in Mexico."

"How about Idaho? Was it in Idaho?"

"Oh, Idaho? Not Mexico?"

"Yes, Idaho, Chad."

"Oh, okay."

So apparently his geography is a little mixed up and thought he really had gone a long, long way on his drive.



Then just this morning, out of the blue Sean said, in his most serious of toddler voices, "Mom, when you die there are no more toys." I don't know why he was thinking about death. And I know a toddler really has no concept of death - but he did get the fact that it is a big enough change in your life that there will no longer be toys. Or will there be? I think I will miss some of my toys too.

June 13, 1997 - The First Date

I guess you could call my first date with Chris an eternal date - as we haven't stopped dating since. Not one for believing in bad superstition - but always looking for something good or fun I wasn't really bothered by the fact that our first date was scheduled to be on June 13th, or more specifically, Friday the 13th.

Chris had boldly introduced himself just a week before at my friend's wedding reception. He had even gone so far as to get my phone number and set up a date with me. I was excited to get to know this handsome man but also extremely nervous to get back into the whole "dating" thing again.

I remember rummaging through my closet, trying to creatively and magically find something new and impressive to wear (being on a college budget doesn't afford much for fashion). I ended up wearing light khaki docker pants with a white t-shirt and blue denim vest. (Chris probably thought I was going for BYU colors - which is a real turn on for him!!!) I double checked that I was wearing a bra. (Which I actually forgot to wear on one date!!!!! I had been changing clothes so many times and running late that I didn't notice. I guess it helps that I am pretty small in the bosom department [added that just for you Lucy] and that just garments do the trick.)

Chris promptly picked me up from my house right at the scheduled time. His carriage was a silver (he claims it is "timberline green") Mazda 626 (the same car he is still driving around today). And of course he had the best manners and opened my doors for me.

He had told me before in a mid-week phone call that he would like to have dinner with me and go to a play. The fact that he wanted to go to a play verses a movie had already impressed me. Great impressions were the whole theme of the night. For dinner he actually drove me to his home and cooked for me!!!! The main course was "Lemon Pepper Chicken," a recipe that he had invented himself. It consisted of cubed chicken, sauteed onion, mushrooms, cream of chicken soup, and lots and lots of lemon pepper seasoning. It was one of the most delicious meals I had ever eaten (except for the mushrooms of course - fungus is disgusting!). The chicken was served over rice and he also warmed up some rolls. I had cooked for plenty of my previous dates, but Chris was the first one to ever cook for me. Another point on the score board for Chris.

After the scrumptious dinner, which was followed by cheesecake, we headed off to see the play Guys and Dolls. I love plays and musicals. I am always totally enthralled by live performances. I was so thrilled that Chris was enjoying the play with me.

After the play, Chris dropped me off back at home. We had both been enchanted with a wonderful evening. Although I had meet Chris just the week before and had just finished a first date with him, I felt like I already had a friend and that we had known each other before.

During the parting conversation, the conversation in my head wanted to know what Chris was really thinking. Did he think the date went well? Did he like me enough to ask me out again. My questions were soon answered when he asked me out again for the next week. My heart thumped excitedly as my mouth responded, "YES!"

A Fishing First

Last Thursday was a first for my kids. It was the first time they got to go fishing and they were all totally excited. Their Bompa has a friend who lives on a ranch and has his own fishing pond. And thanks to my wonderful husband they were all able to enjoy it without me. I had a night out on my own and went to our enrichment book group.

The group assembles for a great time of fishing.

Chad enjoys the bait (worms) as much as fishing.

Halle waits patiently for a bite.

Sean can't believe he gets to be one of big kids.

Sean takes a good look at his catch.

A picture of Chad and his fish (before it got away).

Is any one watching Sean?

Dinner for Forty +

My house is clean. That is because I spent at least 9 hours cleaning today. Why? Because I had about 40 people coming over for dinner.

Serena King's son, Chris, graduated from Welding school today. They wanted to have a party/celebration for him - so we volunteered our house. It was a good turn out. It was nice to see so many people support them. And most thankfully (due to lots of prayers) the weather was good enough to be outside.

I have no pictures - too busy running the kitchen. I am now completely exhausted and ready for bed. I think I will take a good look around though. Because tomorrow, about 5 minutes after my kids wake up, my house will all be a mess again.

June 7th, 1997 - The Wedding Reception

My friend Dayna, and her new husband Trevor, had a two day celebration of their marriage. Friday was their wedding day followed by a lunch. And the following day, Saturday, was to be the day of their reception. I draw a blank on any memories following the lunch and preceding the reception. I guess that happens when everyday runs the same routine as any other day and life is kind of at a stand still. I do remember the feelings though. Nervousness, excitement, puzzlement, confusion, longing. All to do with some stranger that had asked about me.



As afternoon turned into evening I again got dressed in my best to go to the reception. Again, I was excited for my friend - but not a real lover of the required social interaction needed at such an advent. The reception was held in the backyard of my friend's parents home. It was a really beautiful home with an even more spectacular garden. Everything was dressed in elegance and a small orchestra greeted the guests with enchanting classical music.



Before I could even sign in at the guest registry, I had total butterflies in my tummy. Would that young man be here tonight? Would he recognize me? Would he want to talk to me? Why did this seem like such a big deal? I tried to quiet my nerves and used all my mental strength to push away my inner shyness.



As I slowly proceeded in line to greet the happy couple I nonchalantly looked around to see what I could see. The young men I had seen earlier were there sitting at a table together. More butterflies. I concentrated on the dress and shoes of the person in front of me. Again, a quick glance in their direction. And now horror is passing through every vein and artery in my body. My mother, of all people, has sat down at this table. What is she doing there? Did Dayna tell her to sit there? Was she just able to smell "bachelors" out and was hoping to get me a catch? (My mother was never shy at letting people know that I was single and they were free to date and/or marry me - my mother really didn't care what order that took place as long as there was to be a wedding.)



Finally I am face to face with the bride. I give her a big hug and kiss and then shake the hand of her new husband and of course threaten him to take the utmost care of my best friend. When I am done shaking hands I quickly walk over to the refreshment table. There is nothing better to take your mind off things than chocolate and cheesecake! I find an unoccupied bench and sit there alone trying to enjoy the music and the moment for my friend. I am wondering which young man it is that had an interest in me and if he will really do anything about it. I wonder about my life.



Half way through eating and pondering a figure approaches. It is the tall, fair handsome young man. (The other two were both shorter and darker.) Is he going for the refreshments or me? He comes closer and closer and heads directly toward me. Then he boldly sits down right by me. I can't believe it. I am in so much shock that I don't remember the first part of our conversation or how it even got started. But I do recall looking at him and thinking how sharp he looked. His hair was well styled, his clothes looked professional and his voice was deeper than I expected. I melted within seconds.



Sketches of our conversation that I do remember talking about were that he was a teacher and a track coach. I was on my way to becoming a teacher and I had run track in high school. He was from Spokane Washington originally and his name was Chris Caviness. He also talked about Trevor and Dayna and some of his and Trevor's escapades in college. It was through some of this conversation that I realized that this was the young man my friend Dayna had tried desperately to set me with up almost a year ago. I had emphatically declined - "No more set up dates!" The last one she had set me up on was a dozy. A real cowboy with a couple of missing teeth and just started attending Utah Valley Community College in preparation for the police force.



Chris' charm was mesmerizing. We talked for I don't know how long. It was one of those moments where only he and I existed. The music, the smell of food, the buzz of conversation, the people walking to and fro - all became the faded, out of focus wall paper in the periphery of my vision. I don't even remember breathing! It was all so surreal. And in that small amount of time he did/said three things that meant a lot to me. I won't reveal what these things are, but I had prayed and prayed that I would meet a young man who would do/say these things - and it happened. I knew this was going some place special.



Before we said our blushing goodbyes he got my phone number and asked me to go out with him the following Friday night. I of course agreed to Friday night and looked anxiously forward to it every night the following week.

June 6th 1997 - My Best Friend's Wedding

Friday, June 6, 1997 started out being a beautiful day. The sun was bright, there were a few puffy clouds scattered throughout the sky and a light breeze buzzed around that was very welcome on a warm Utah day.



When I awoke, I went through my usual getting up and ready routine. Later I dressed in my best Sunday dress, stockings and shoes. As I curled my hair and applied my makeup my thoughts were on my best friend, Dayna. Today was her big day. I was getting ready to attend her wedding at the Mount Timpanogos Temple in American Fork, Utah. She was my last single friend to get married and she had been through quite a journey to get to this point. I was so happy for her.



As I pulled up to the temple I was excited to go in the new Timpanogos Temple for the first time, I was excited for my friend, and I had this overhanging feeling that something great would happen that day. I was all smiles and tears at the same time.



After entering the temple I found the wedding party and quickly attached myself to my friend's younger sister, Katie. She was single and I was single so I was glad to find someone to be with and talk with and not be a complete loser and loner. The waiting room was packed full of friends and family and giddy whispers bounced around the room. After a while of waiting I noticed three very nicely dressed and good looking young men enter the room. My heart gave a little flutter and all of a sudden I blushed. I don't know why I felt that way. I didn't know who these men were and if they were married or single and besides I had totally sworn off men. So I tried to ignore them and continued to talk to Katie. But try as I might, I still keep getting a warm little feeling in my heart.



At the appointed time we all went into the sealing room to witness the marriage of my friend Dayna, to her sweetheart, Trevor. It was beautiful to be there and see my best friend's marriage. It actually made me think that maybe I really did want to get married some day.



After the temple, the wedding party was invited to a lunch at a yummy Mexican restaurant. Again, Katie and I tagged along together. And before we arrived, we made sure to stop at a local grocery store to buy proper supplies to decorate the wedding couple's car. (No need to wait until the reception - take advantage when you can!)



As we sat down to eat I again noticed the three handsome young men sitting at the opposite corner of the room. Again, I tried to ignore them. Katie and I had a bite to eat, excused ourselves for a few moments (to help with decorating) and came back in time for the program. After the parents spoke, the groom introduced some of his friends from college - the same three young men that had already procured my attention. He mentioned that one of their hobbies while in college was writing songs together and that they would perform some of them now in honor of his new bride.



The four men did a fabulous job. They sang all original songs. The last one made me really jealous - it was so beautiful and had all the words in that I had always longed to hear. So, now I knew how these young men fit into the wedding party, but still did not know where they were from, marriage status, etc. I was especially intrigued by the tall, fair young man. He seemed to exude the most charm out of the three. But why am I even thinking about them?! I don't need men. I have my life all planned out - hate for someone to ruin my plans or something. And why would any one even be interested in me any way????



As the events came to a close I started to leave. But before I could reach the door my friend, Dayna ran up to me and said she had to ask me something. She asked me if I was seeing anyone or involved or anything like that. I honestly responded that there was no one special in my life at the moment (nor had there been for many moments of time) and I wasn't interested in any set up dates (she had tried several times before). She said she wasn't looking to set me up but that one of her husband's friends had inquired about me. Then she was bombarded by more friends and family congratulating her and that was the end of our conversation.



I left quite a befuddled mess. Was someone really interested in me? Would I be interested in them. Who had it been? What were all these feelings coming over me?





To be continued . . .